Day 30 - Your favorite song
Before I get into this post, I just want to say
FUCK YEAH! WRITING CHALLENGE COMPLETE!
I never finish writing challenges. Go me! (Also, I typed that whole uppercase sentence while holding down shift instead of using caps lock. I'm talented.)
ANYway...
I don't really have a favorite song. I'm not good with favorites. There are so many good things in the world. It's impossible for me to choose which good thing is the very best thing. So instead of stressing myself out over it, I just don't. Instead, I accept that I like different things for different reasons.
Except humans. Big is my very favorite human.
I do, however, have a song that has been stuck in my head for a while, and I'm really digging on the album it's from.
The album and song are Rainbow by Kesha.
I have never been a Kesha fan. There was no particular reason that I wasn't a Kesha fan (though I will admit that I thought the $ replacing the S in her name in the beginning of her career was obnoxious). I barely ever heard her name, except for occasionally from a woman I've followed/internet-known for...god, has it really been ten years? Anyway...
She really likes Kesha because she and Kesha went through recovery at roughly the same time, and Kesha's music helped her get through the struggles that come with getting sober. I considered listening to Kesha's music every time I saw her mention it, but I never really got around to it. Mostly because I knew it was music Big wouldn't like, and Big and I are always together.
Until recently, I never really put on my headphones and listened to music by myself. It felt like I was shutting him out, and even though eight hours of the day, he's working at the job that pays our bills, I still felt like shutting him out like that would be rude.
On the other hand, I have no qualms binging a show or watching YouTube vids half the day. I'm weird. But that's probably more due to the fact that I get way more invested in music than any show or YouTube vid. If I let music carry me away, nothing else exists in that moment. Just the music.
Then one day, another woman I follow tweeted this video:
I was sobbing by the time the intro was over. How many times, when I was a Christian, did I pray those very words? So many.
The song and imagery hit me so hard that I watched it over and over that day. And when the album dropped on Spotify, I stuck my headphones in my ears and let it take me away.
I love the album. It shows how vast Kesha's range is, and what an amazing musician and human she is. She really tore open her chest and laid herself bare with that album. You can feel it in the music and hear it in the words. And some of the songs feel like she was in my head when she wrote them, or she was talking to me.
Rainbow is the one that has been stuck in my head for days. I've even been hearing it in my dreams. And it gives me hope that one day, I'll be better at controlling my mental illness, and be able to let go of my past. So here it is:
This series inspired by a writing challenge from Living Off Love and Coffee. Find the full list here.
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